come back to me

if you tell me a secret i'll give you forever in a tightly packed jar, pickled and nice, packed with the most appreciated memories we have stored between us. time stands still when you hold our jar of memories to your heart. when you start to dream of me. giving breath to the dying memory of us. how lovely would it be to stand back and see our future together floating beautifully in a glass, swirling around, misty-eyed and free without the cacophony of hypocrisy seeping out of its clear glass body. no one to tell us no anymore. no one to look through the looking glass and make snickering comments about how happy we could be together. no more echo of dying stars crying out to giants as they go flying into the night. no one to hear the screaming energy from within them silently falter as oblivion takes them in. the universe is unkind. instead, i'll take my time to unwind bible verses making the most of what God meant when he said, i make them in my own image, perfect. translation, my mind is trying hard to find the beauty that i caught one day in you, because you, are perfect. i'm trying hard to hold onto this butterfly net, exhausting muscles i didn't know i had yet in order to give breath to an idea that was born in my head the moment we met. i caught the tangled ball of our joyous days instead, a tangled web of string starting to unravel with the slightest provocation of the scissor. like tearing the stitching of a perfect sweater, like re-entering old wounds by cutting up something better. but what's better than a perfect scar on your already perfect body? heaven. i'm drifting. from afar i can see you dancing around in Elysium, bouncing around like a bubble going farther and farther away from here, floating toward an illusion that's just starting to appear. we stay apart. you are there and i'm somewhere over here so before we start to say things like, i'm sorry, i still love you, i'm sorry, i really want to spend my life with you, stand back and listen to the melodies of you and me that come and go, come and go, back and forth without much hesitation. they are moving with us like the tides of tomorrow, holding onto pieces of the past, dearly. longingly. but i can hear them so clearly. as if they are happening right here near me. as if i can touch them as much as i want to touch you. if you look close, you can see a million memories flash by out of the corner of my eyes where teardrops made scars down my cheeks. these track marks of memories where valleys of the good and the bad and the times we had sex in public, or held hands in heaven, or kissed at the alter of damnation project themselves on the inside of my eyelids.

secrets

whisper pretty chocolates into open mouths,
pop them in one by one.
here i am waiting for you.

touch my heart with a beautiful word,
inside us both is the need to start making life undying and perfect.
let us begin there.

trance

the space between us has been invaded.
the wind calls her to me,
take my hand and lead me away.

help me breathe freely.
forever flying further below the radar,
colors come crashing onto our nakedness.

mary

i remember the days we used to spend sitting in cafes dreaming up beautiful pictures and the past. we drew people out of nothing, and places, and moments of colors swirling too fast to grab onto, or too fast to hold them tight and whisper songs of yesterday into their little bodies. breathe life little memories, dance to the beat of racing hearts. show me how you're not meant to die, how a memory can exist from the start.

grandma says wanna go see a movie? i'll treat you to lunch, i cut out some crossword puzzles for you, like fifty. really, a whole bunch. i say i adore you. let's play in the days of your stories, grandma, and stay there as long as we can. because i don't want to go in yet, grandma. i want you to hold them in the palm of your hand and blow them up so the whole world can see where you've been, and all the eyes you've looked into, and all the people on the outside looking in to see you staring back at them with your big eyes and sass.

tell me about your childhood, and faces that have come and gone, and times you'll never forget as long as eternity blows forever across the horizon flashing lights like a lovesong.

sing me tales of love and laughter as you peel away the memories that have been caked onto your skin like war-paint dried under the sun. let's go to the places that you've come from, there and back again until i see what you see, beauty that time has not yet undone.

ok, you'd say, alexandra. rosie cheeks, smiles and fun. always there for each other. you and i have seen the sun. of course you had it planned this way, all packaged up in one big moment, flying higher and higher into a sky that was turning red and orange, on fire.

you always have me, you'd say. don't worry, if everyone around you suddenly leaves, you will always have me, alexandra. always here to play with memories.

a lady's story

a lady's story is sometimes a broken one. shattered shards of vanishing reason's why, and dreams, and faces flying too high to be seen by those on the ground. give her angel wings and flowers on strings, delicate things carelessly floating away against the sky-blue backdrop of heaven painted like earth. she's been there.
sometimes if you look closely, if you hold the snow globe and look into someone else's magic, you can almost touch it, you can almost breathe it in, serenity flashing by before the swirls.
stories tickle and gently caress the cheeks of remembering children. moments of memories draped on clotheslines waiting for someone else to bring them in. they are the beautiful pieces of where we've been together and the lights that danced their way into oblivion.
sometimes a lady's story is told silently. but even then, but even if you were to softly press them up against your skin, wrapping her stories with your own, it can happen, in one moment, you'll hear them calling out to you to stretch the time we had till the end.