on the inside

inside, i'm going inside the belly of an overgrown,
whale...
and it's over told,
beyond the bloated underscore
of my memories.

i tried to follow you in,
instead you only swallowed me whole,
whole on the outside, but never on the in,
just some pale skin and a bleeding heart, crying
and tearing me apart,
bleeding my memories
on the inside.

inside me is this temperamental need to start,
over, but i'm back where i begin,
over and over,
is this temperamental sin...
eating my soul.

i tried to heal the past,
i tried to make you it and make the feelings last,
wanted to take the pain away and make forever last,
together in your arms each and every day.

but each time i swam away,
you found me floating up at the break of day,
only brought me back to see me swim away,
again only to draw me in someday,
on the inside.