her conviction

"i think you're beautiful," she said with conviction. "thanks?" i said, with a certain sort of friendly hesitation that meant to imply, "please stop, you're making me blush," but only seemed to fuel her friendly flirtation instead. "fuck, i want to kiss your beautiful lips," she whispered as she moved my bangs off the corners of my right eye. "there you are," she said with a sigh. "can i?" what? what does she mean? it was as if she knew what she was looking for before she found it in me. as if she knew what was behind my hidden door before she pried it open and found everything she could ever want and more, in me. "i don't know what you mean by touching me like that. you know i can't." i can see that she doesn't care. she's going to go there anyway. "where could there be?" i think to myself, as curiosity takes a bite out of my stale reality, and for a moment, she releases me. i take in a breath of fresh air as i start to walk away. i need to get out of there.
i walk away not knowing the right and wrong of what just happened.
i walk away because i am not ready to bury you under the memories i could have.
i walk away because it's the only thing i can bring myself to do that wouldn't hurt you.