fidelity

when you went away, it was hard for me to regain my balance.
it was as if the blood in my head drained into my hands and legs giving me these thick tree-like branches for limbs i would use to navigate the next bodies that came along.
unfamiliar and not you.
the love we had was dead and all i wanted to do was bury it and walk far away from it. walk somewhere where i could find myself long enough to hack these obscene branches to pieces like a lumberjack on acid. in peace and in death.
but dying is never easy.
she found me huddled up and bleeding in the corner of my burned civilization. trampled and torn.
there was so much blood and damage done to my body that she thought this was the end. i was there, at my end not even able to say thank you properly when she washed my face and said i was pretty.
pretty special. pretty smart. pretty amazing.
i couldn't remember hearing any of it. my ears were ringing too loud to the sound of you breathing.
she could see that i was on the edge, that the black would come and get me. so she gave me her heart and told me to start living in this beautiful world even though it meant she was no longer going to.
this was her fidelity.
she gave me her heart so that i could understand what she saw when she looked into my eyes and believed in someone worth dying for.