face

i secretly want you to tattoo my face on your brain ripples.
maybe that way you'd never forget me.
but you will.
you will too often.
you'll come and go, disappearing back into the places that i'm not allowed to follow.
your secrets. your mind.
there's a little line that i'm not allowed to cross. it's dotted and white and undefined. not clearly visible to those you don't let see, but it's clear to me that i'm not meant to step over it.
i find it difficult to understand the part of myself that keeps trying...
fighting, forcing, wanting...
empty yourself of desire, i will forever tell myself,
forever convincing myself as i undress to find that i've tattooed your face onto my heart.
i know that soon i will find the missing pieces of who i was in a trash bag,
just like the rest of your memories.