inappropriate love

i thought you were something you're not.
it may have been the biggest mistake i made with you, maybe not.
there were others, certainly bigger ones, ones that taught me to put my heart away. inappropriate love.
although, i can look back and reflect on a few that may have been monumentally bigger.

perhaps i knew everything you were the moment you walked into my life.
maybe i saw you for you right there at the beginning, but didn't want to see the pain that you'd give me in time.
a mistake.

maybe i didn't want to see the calloused heart, the beautiful liar. someone that took the scalpel and cut through my heart.
a mistake.

i didn't want to see what you could do to me when you felt trapped, or hurt, bleeding all over the place and into my lap. i didn't want to believe that you could hurt me like that. a favor.
a mistake.

i didn't understand