goodbye bobby sands

as you lay there in silence on the eve of your death, there was a moment when you slowly took a breath and looked into my eyes and smiled. i thought this was it, your end of the line, only to find there would be a few more to come. small breaths you'd puff out, emptying the last that were left inside your frame, small pockets of air suddenly dignified and poised knowing that you'd soon never breathe again.
you look so child-like and alone as you lay there with barely any clothes on.
your bones gently peeping through the white cloth they placed over your tiny body. the one that will become your funeral shroud. they'll show it on tv, as if people need to see your death to become their martyr. our freedom fighter they'll fondly say, but i will not remember you that way. i'll be the one to look away when they show your face and give you special days of remembrance.
i knew and loved that body of yours, long before it became theirs. one day, long before this, you gave me your soul in exchange for a lifetime, you gave me love.
but that love went away as you walked closer to this death, clinging to your beliefs rather than to our past, as if love meant nothing in the shadow of your fight.
i'm left with these thorns of regret that have been permanently placed on my wrists like handcuffs. you took my voice away and now, i have nothing i can say but i loved you. i loved you.